My Beautiful sister. And my lovely Bro!!

We all spent Xmas together and it was great. But we are so lucky. Our Dad choked during dinner (at a Hotel) and it was scarey. It seemed like ages and he couldn't swallow as he had a piece of meat stuck in his throat and every time he tried to drink water, it came out again as it couldn't pass. We moved out of the dining room and went outside.

Fortunately it dislodged after the chef did the 'H' Manouvre (sp) a couple of times and he was fine. He had a roll-up right after, thats my dad...lol. ;)

Then my sis told me she had been in a car crash the day after Boxing Day. The car had hit debris on her way home from work. It rolled twice and landed upside down, is an absolute write-off and she is lucky to be alive.....nevermind just survived with bruises/pain!! Mummy is looking after us all up there!!....Someone is. My sis thought she was going to die, could smell smoke, and managed to crawl out of the front thru a small gap, to a back window, and out....she is a hero and was already someone i looked up to.

The roof was smashed to bits and when she crawled out it was into a mud bog and so she had to keep herself from sinking. Sounded very scarey. Sooooo glad she is ok.

Someone up there cares, and life is precious.

Hxxx

Happy Xmas And all the Best for 2009!!

Wish Anyone who cares to pass by here, A Happy Time over the Festivities, and a Healthy and Happy 2009!!

Hxxx

Wakey Wakey, Rise and Shine!!

Just out of bed, hair not brushed. What does the day hold....

If i got some sleep i am lucky, its a rare occurance and the last time i slept i dreamt about my ex trying to get off with an 18 year old!! Bizarre, but he is a bit weird.

So much has happened over the past month. My son has quit College and his saturday job, great!! He also got his lip pierced - which i do like, and has a new girlfriend. They went out before but then she went to South Africa for a while to live with her Dad. She had been staying here for a few days as all was not well at home, and well, i'm just bumbling along.

My doc got me to increase my anti-d's so now i feel like an extra for some space-cadet sci-fi movie. Hey, there's life Jim....but not as we know it!! My concentration is zilch. An example, if i can remember....oh not the exacts, but my daughter asked me a question and i said i didn't know and then she told me the answer and we talked for a minute about something else and she asked me, and i said i had no idea what the answer was. Radio Ga-Ga. Not to mention the pain i am having just now in my neck, that leads to my shoulder/arm. It is excrutiatingly (sp?) sore and i saw my doc yesterday and he has given me some anti-inflammatories and pain killers. And said if it is not better in a few weeks i will need to see a physio. Scarey thought because his prodding hurt enough!!

He is weird my doc. Sometimes i have seen him with a strange twitch in his eye, and yesterday when he stood up to feel my back, after i'd taken my jacket and cardigan off, he, inadvertantly supposedly, wiped his ahnd against his 'bits'. It was pretty obvious. God forbid, but i will never see that doc about anything to do with sexual organs!!...or boobs!! Is a tit a sexual organ??....nah, surely not.

So i am in pain and depressed. The depression is quite bad sometimes. I hate it. Instead of going to my CB psychotherapy group tonight, i bought myself long new suede boots, and a sexy skirt. Oh, and a nice new 'retro' table-lamp. Retail therapy is underestimated!! But, in my defense, i was in too much pain to go to the group. Have not been in weeks, and dunno if i will again...

Its been really cool having my son's girlfriend around. She is lively and assertive and we all enjoy her company. So have been busy being mummy. I do enjoy being mummy. The way my son and his g/f have been talking, i may be granma in the next few years...lol....wild!! I would have liked another kid, but dunno if at approaching 40, it will happen, or if i could cope with it. Babies are wonderful, but maybe i will wait until i am a granma...

Have finally rounded things up with my ex. I would love to say so much here about him. About 'that' relationship. What a conceited, selfish, deluded fool he is. All the time preaching this and that, while he was doing other stuff himself. Tx must have really fucked me up for me to have taken an interest in him. Got me hooked on diazepam - which i am only just recovering from - and thought he was doing us a favour by using us until he went to Thailand, which he never did...or will most likely. And he was a nasty person. Cruel and physical with it. He almost hit me and told my daughteron one occasion he would her too if she did not go.......i am well rid. No wonder it has taken me so long to recover from everything, and YES, i DO blame him for the damage he caused. Total mental torture from a control-freak; addict; who is so lost that he had to try and control/hurt another person to make him feel worthwhile. Well, he is shit. I'm sorry i won't mince words. I am fair and give people a chance, but i have never met anyone quite like him, for all the wrong reasons.

There, it is out now, and so shall it rest. DONE.

Spent a lovely evening with my Dad staying over. It was great and probably a first. I was not brought up with him so these things are always a little 'different'. I was annoyed because i felt so unwell myself and it was difficult to hide that, yet was not sure how to explain it, nor would i want to upset my dad. Love him dearly.

Anyway, what was going to be a short post has turned into a bit more than that. I always feel really selfish writing in my blog, that its for me........but, i guess thats what its for.

Hugs

Hxxx